Can we simply take the pain away from our children? I think that typically, we cannot but we can at least support our children in dealing with their pain. Pains of children can range from many different aspects. Pain from being teased at school, suffering from having their feelings hurt and the most horrendous pain are when wickedness comes to our children. As parents, in order to deal with our children’s pain, we must remember what it was like at their age and the mentalities of our children. I personally remember some heart breaks as a child and how I was totally clueless in dealing with those heart breaks. As a parent, I always try to ensure that my son does not have to deal with his grief alone, and I believe this is the most critical aspect of aiding our children in getting through atrocities.
I have found as a parent that speaking to children on “their” terms works tremendously. Speaking to a child aids them to know what you are trying to relay. Children need to experience comfort and safety with their parents. Children who have been abused or severely wronged begin to lose faith in people. It is the responsibility of parents to talk through the issues and atrocities which have occurred which will encourage children in not losing their faith altogether in people.
We can “speak” all we want to our children, and this is a powerful thing; however, it’s not enough. Children need to witness their parents actions in keeping them safe and secure. If incidents occur at school, our children need to see parents calling the school, speaking to their teachers. If someone harms our children, the children want to see parents taking active strides in keeping them safe as compared to only “talking” about it. If someone scares our children, parents need to be viewed taking preventive measures in preventing such things.
It is our duty as parents to safeguard our children from the weights and worries of this world. Children need positivity not negativity. Never speak ill of people who have wronged our children in front of our children. I’m not saying that we should say pleasant things about people who have wronged our children but speaking badly about people around our children adds to negativity. We should want our children to become effective thinkers. Displaying certain actions in dealing with abuse aids children in adapting to distressing situations.
Children are more intelligent than people think. Children will always know who protects them as well as who is TRULY there for them. This aids our children in forming lasting, trusting bonds when they feel protected and secure. Life is not always a bed of roses and sometimes, dysfunction can creep into not only our lives but the lives of our children. How parents handle these situations will affect the emotional reason of their children.
If you want emotionally healthy children, ensure you talk to them, listen to them, protect them. If you want emotionally damaged children, ignore them, ignore the situation and pretend that dysfunction has not occurred in your child’s life. Nurturing children entails taking time out of your active adult life and doing what needs to be done in the best interest of your children.
Anyone can say…”I would do whatever it takes for my child” but it takes a “parent” to execute this statement and put it into action. It is our duty as parents to protect our children. True love of a child is to set yourself in front of them while shielding them from pain and suffering. Parenting is not always happy times. Parenting sometimes consist of literally standing up and advocating for your child, even when no one else joins in your mission.
Love them. Protect them. Comfort them. Talk to them. They will love you back. They will run to you. They will talk to you. They will remember. They will do the same for their children. There is no more of a sacred trust than that which is held between parent and child. There is no greater responsibility than ensuring the rights of our children are respected. Our children’s success should be a priority. Children deserve to grow up without fear and want. It is our duty, and privilege to ensure this happens.